Wipe Away All The Pains of Yesterday

More like the pains of today... but what the hell. I guess I'll just deal with it. So for the most part of today I've just been sitting around because life hasn't been treating me very well. Today, I found out the wonderful news that Harryson never liked me in the first place... he's such a player and I kind of want to kill him right now. Hmmm. I can actually concentrate right now, and I'm just a little bit happy that this whole damn situation is over, at least for the most part. For once I thought that a guy might have actually cared about me, but it appears that I was utterly misinformed. I am seriously dying inside right now, because he was one of the nicest--or seemingly nicest guys I have ever met, and I thought that for once there was a guy that actually wanted to pursue a relationship with me, instead of just participating in friendship like usually happens with guys. I have only three exes in my life. Tyler, who was my best friend, Jason Daniels who I actually didn't know very well, and Erik who I only went out with for about two weeks. I am so tired right now, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to last very long tomorrow without bursting into tears in front of everyone. I'm not afraid to do it, actually. I want to see more of Harryson, but I'm kind of afraid to see where this leads. If I get sunk anymore into this stupid situation then I am seriously going to take drastic action and move somewhere very very far away. Like maybe Italy, or Bermuda. I just want to go somewhere where no one will ever be able to find me unless they are like Garcia from Criminal Minds, which I doubt is going to be very easy. Basically, I want to disappear from the face of the earth and never be seen again, without dying. I have dreams and everything, but I'm kind of finding it hard to pursue them in my current point in time with all of this depression. I'm kind of just a little bit angry with all of those bastards out there who think they can trick me with their lies... I kind of want someone who will understand me even when I can't, someone who will listen to me even when I sound really stupid. I want someone who is like Justin from my novel, the one who will always be there to protect me even when things seem hopeless. I really thought that would be Harryson, but maybe I was wrong... I should probably go now, but I'll try to write more later.
<3 y'all!