Sorta, Kinda, Not Really

Well, the title basically explains how I'm feeling at the moment. I've learned a lot of things that have been really hard for me, especially today, and there are a few things that I hate to have to deal with in this life. Just barely today, I found out that the boy I like a lot doesn't feel the same about me, and that is killing me. For the longest time I honestly believed that it was reciprocated, but his sister, just barely today informed me otherwise. I guess I've had my time and believing the way he felt was the same that I did, but I should have figured otherwise. Instead of making a list of all the things that went wrong, I'm going to tell you a few stories. Stories that happened between him and I that made me happy when they happened, but now they kind of haunt me.

• Our first Waltz
• Well, it was a regional dance, and I danced with this person twice. It was the best ten minutes of my life, and I can't really express how grateful I am for all of this. No matter how much I hurt now, it really was worth all of the things that happened that made me happy. He's the one that taught me how to waltz, and I will honestly say that nothing is going to tear me away from liking--or loving him.
• The Phantom and Christine
• It started at a a dance party. Sara and I were dancing around, and then he came in the room. My one and only, my phantom, my angel of music and he turned on that very song and he gave me the opportunity to be Christine for once in my life. It was probably one of the best times of my life and it will never be taken away from me no matter what happens.

No matter what happens in the next little while, when Matthew goes on his mission I'll always remember the way he makes me feel when I'm around him. He may not like me now, but I know with a conviction that he will at one point like me, even if it's after I don't like him (which I'm also doubting will ever happen).

1. He is my happiness
2. His voice mesmerizes me like the angel of music.
3. We get along quite well
4. I know his sister well

I'm not quite sure what that list was of, but it's what I typed up, so here we go. I should probably go now, so I don't dwell too much on the things that cause me pain.

Love,

Lindsay <3